Some small thoughts.

My most favorite part of the day was evening. It was then that I could sit with the guys and laugh my guts out because it went the same way EVERY time. We'd wander around aimlessly till we found some sort of food establishment. Finally someone would become hungry enough to say "No more walking we eat here." (usually me). Then we'd get seated and the fun would begin. I wish I could have filmed it. Gordy would cross his legs and sit back and peruse the menu (he speaks French). Jason and Greg also leg crossers would have to take a more serious posture and lean forward,studying the menu. Clark always with the thoughtful stroke of the chin and Evan quietly reading, a little less intensely than the other four. And this is where the fun began. (It should be noted that Clark, Jason, and Greg speak no French, and Evan has had 2 years in school and claims no knowledge.)

After a few minutes of serious head nodding perusal. . .
jason: ohhh, they have fwah today, yummy.
clark: yes that sounds good, but what about the canard with perkanese sauce.
greg: I don't know, i think i'm feeling a little bit like beof.
jason: I had beof last night.
clark: I want to save room for chocolate mailbox
greg: your right, maybe the jambon with this "f" word on page two.
jason: but does it come with fitas?

More humming and ahhing, 5 minutes of above conversation or similair.
waiter: bonsoir, je peux prendre votre commande?
All heads go up and each gently folds their menu, places it on the table. Waiter looks confused, because everyone looks blankly at said waiter and then everyone turns collectively to Gordy, who is smirking. So sad not to have this experience to look forward to every evening.

Well this is the last day, we go back over a day, in and out of a week and through Spain, and into our homes where our families are waiting for us and supper is a food we recognize.

Trip Totals:
About 560 miles
About 51800 vertical feet of climb

Trip Climbs:
Col de Coubet Cat 2
Col de Cannes Cat 3
Col de Tosses Cat 1
Col de Quillane Cat 3
Col de Pailhares Cat HC
Col de Bouich Cat 3
Col de Portet de Aspet Cat 2
Col de Mente Cat 1
Col de Peyresourde Cat 1
Col de Aspin Cat 1
Col de Tourmalet Cat HC
Col de Soulor Cat HC
Col de Abisque Cat HC
Col de Marie Blanque Cat 1
Col de Osquich Cat 3
Col de Ispequey Cat ?

St Jean to San Sebastian - Where the heck are we????

So you know the day is going to be rough when the first person you meet you offend.

The boys head off and since it is threatening rain, they are trying to get some mileage behind them. Being as this is the last leg, a lot is assumed. Well the bags are packed a little bit helter skelter in the back of the van, I still haven't looked to find out what crashed when I went over a speed bump a little fast. Then, because it is cold I decide to pull over and put some hot cocoa in the water bottles. (We have two dedicated to this for the top of the really cold climbs.) When I ordered the cups of hot cocoa and held them over the bar sink and started pouring them into the water bottles, I thought the bartender/waiter was going to hemmorage. You'd a thought I'd yelled “wahoo, glad he's dead, when we reading the will?” during the eulogy at a funeral. So after muttering in Basque, and finally turning his back on me, I decided I'd done a fine job of representing my country and headed back on the road. If I hadn't been standing right there, I think he would have spit in my drinks.

Next, we headed up Col de Col de Ispequey. It was a beautiful climb that took you through a herd of goats. Apparently they thought Jason was a part of the herd and tried to keep him in their midst. For me, (I was later), they laid down in the road and refused to move.

At the bottom of this climb there was some hesitation on direction, so we'd drive and think, and look over the map, then repeat. Eventually we felt certain and headed off. About 10km later I came to a tunnel, it made me nervous enough for the boys that I waited. There was a sign, it was vague, we took a gamble, it was erroneous. We have now found another col. We named it Col de Crapit'sthewrongway. That is french for "shoot, my legs are jello and that totally wasn't the way we were supposed to go." This hill went straight up. So straight up Gargantua had to be in her lowest gear. (On the Tourmalet she was in 2nd and 3rd). The boys rode, and rode, and rode some more until someone decided that they might be wrong, it was debated and there was some voting and then they rode aaallllll the way back down that HUGE hill and took the other road which was easier and correct. After a longish ride we arrived in a small city just outside of San Sebastian
we arrived in a small outskirt area, where I typed in the address to our hotel and we set off in our customary way. I lead they follow. There has been 7 other days when this has worked perfectly fine, however today was get lost and confused day so I was unable to find the hotel, managed to direct the guys onto a freeway and otherwise completely freak out because the made it across the country and I didn't want 'em to get run over now!!!! so I pulled over an the side of the freeway, waited with hands on hips, pissed off, freaked out mother style, and told them to get in. They did so without hesitation. Then (becaused I was still stressed) I might have driven a little quickly around a corner and Gordy and Jason were apparently mouthing "Why are we in such a hurry?" and "Are we going to go upside down?" In the front seat Clark and Greg are talking to me in calm voices used only for the mentally unstable, and through it all I wanted to yell, "You two in the back, do want me to pull this car over and come back there???" and "You two in the front, do you want to drive this beast??" Needless to say we got here safely, no thanks to me. And the funniest part of the whole thing is how quiet everyone was in the van. I must have appeared like a woman on the edge.

To top off a wonderful day, there was a HUGE street party in San Sebastian. Generally I'm game for a festive evening, but this was a drunken mess. Gordy and i had to step pretty carefully because we were wearing flipflops and there was enough urine in the streets the smell was overpowering. We did stop in for chinese food, it was yummy. As I write this, the boys are breaking down bikes. Jason is sewing his suitcase (it split because he packs like a girl).

So yahoo we made it. 560 miles later. Tomorrow we head back.
Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/382386
Millage: 78 miles
Elevation Climb: About 7000 ft

Oleron to St Jean - Pictures worth a thousand words

i felt these said it all.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/382379
Millage: 50 miles
Elevation Climb: About 2800 ft

Luz to Oleron - one burro, some cows, and a herd of goats

Day 7

Ummmm, I'm pretty sure that I am crossing the Pyrenees with the mentally insane. You wouldn't know it to look at them. They all seem normal, no weird twitches or anything. However I’m pretty sure behind their wholesome, nice guy next door smiles, their brains are decaying with mental illness. Everyone jumped out of bed, put on their ridding shorts (which I'm pretty sure are going to need to be burned at the end of this), and loaded up to ride 3 more hairy climbs. A set of twin peaks called Col de Solour and Col de Abisque, and also the Col de Marie Blanque. Since the first two qualify as an HC climb and the second is a Cat.1, I'm pretty sure they all should have had Ibuprofen for breakfast instead of pastries, but who am I to coddle. They were all very excited and hippity -hopped on to the Col de Abisque. Gargantua and I told Jenny the Garmin where we wanted to go and we were off. I have to go MUCH slower in towns than they do and so I lost sight of them pretty quickly, especially since it was downhill for a while. Well, Jenny the Garmin had her panties in a bunch and she was insisting that I turn onto this one way street. It started out harmless enough until it began to narrow and wind and narrow and wind. Then came the moment that I could reach out and touch the buildings on either side and I thought I might swear when I had to fold in the side mirrors so they didn't scratch on the building. However my real angst came when I came to a dead end. The stupid Garmin is still telling me to proceed .5 miles and make a left on blah,blah street. I'm sweating like a sinner in church as I back Gargantua down this one way street the wrong direction. French people are saying things that don't seem friendly, and in my mind I'm debating smothering each of the boys with their pillows (I'm not sure why it would be their fault, but the only other alternative would have been to blame myself. . . not likely).
All ended well because when I finally got out of there, I pulled over in an open spot to breath and looked up to see a pastry shop. This is the boys favorite treat, and since I'm way to lazy to hold a grudge, I decide to try my French out and I go in to order them some yummies. I try ordering three times, the first gets me a confused stare, the second a smirk, the third has the counter girl laughing so hard she's wiping tears out of her eyes. Later I learned from Gordy I ordered some sort of pastry with liver.
I finally caught up with the boys, they were all smiles and the ride had spectacular views, so I head halfway up to take their pictures, and write this blog. There is a donkey here that really thinks I have some sort of food. He keeps putting his big, hairy lips on my laptop screen, and when I get up and move, he follows me. This brings me to the next thing that happens. The boys are headed up to the top of the Abisque and I'm two turns behind the guys, contemplating how tight these roads are, (Sheer cliff up, steep drop off to the right), when I come face to face with a couple bikers, two cars and a herd of cows all stuck on a hairpin turn. Made me laugh, the cows definitely felt they had the right away, and the noise they made with their big cow bells and mooing was amazing. Just when I got done giggling over how all five of the guys must of looked coming through this bovine jam, I come around the next corner to Greg, all alone on his bike in the middle of a herd of goats that are on the road. He looked confused, he claims he couldn't decide between taking a picture or filming the silliness. There had to be 50 to 100 goats. This scene was topped off with a herd of horses breaking into a run on the hill above him. All these obstacles make me wonder if the Tour de France riders aren't really getting the feel of this place. I think they are going to fast and they are to pandered to, to really appreciate their surroundings. I believe the race would be funner if we could see the whole lot of them stuck on their bikes in the middle of a herd of goats (that would slow 'em down. Just imagine them in their outfits out there trying to weave through some cows or goats.).Also, the road is probably all swept off so they don't have to dodge road apples left by the cows. The guys in the Tour have nothing on these boys. These guys can ride the climbs, avoid the “wildlife”, navigate a busy city with crazy french drivers, name the house that had the weird wooden duck that looked real, and swerve around the three-legged cat, fat frog (alive, we think) and meandering burro. Ahhh a perfect day.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/382386
Millage: 70 miles
Elevation Climb: About 7000 ft

Bagners - Luz The BIG Day

Day 6

Today started out raining, which is sad because this is the hardest climbing day. For those of us who aren't in the know it is called the Queen Stage,and involves several famous climbs. The boys are doing 3. The first is named Col de Peyresourde, a Cat. 1 that climbs for 11km at an average 7.4% grade ascending 3122 feet. The next is Col de Aspin. This is also a Cat. 1 climbing 12.3 km ascending 2588 feet at an average 6.3% grade. The best is saved for last, this is a ginormous, beautiful mountain that gives you 17 km of climbing @ an average 7.5% grade with sections as steep as 15%, putting you ascending 4156 feet, for a days total of near 12,000 feet.

Well we had major plans for starting off early, around nineish. Greg was going to take his bike in and get his wheel balanced, turns out he cracked a rim on one of the descents. While getting his wheel fixed he met a character whose name I don't know, wearing sixty two vests who apparently was a bike racer in the good ol days, and from the looks of him and his shop still wanted to be. You couldn't get in his shop because it was virtually a museum of old bikes and parts that were strewn, crammed and otherwise placed harry-carry all over the place. This bike racer gone mechanic promptly produced a cardboard box with photos of him and other racers. Between the trip down memory lane, buying a new wheel, and Clark and Gordy trying to purchase jerseys, buried under bike . . . stuff, we left at 10:54. Hmmm, late start for such a rigorous day. The first climb was beautiful and really steep, everyone did it with ease and we ate crepes and hot coca at the top. On our was out of the coffee shop, a guy asked if he could ride with the boys, his name was Nick and he was all by himself. He ended up staying through the next two climbs The second climb was equally successful, the view was amazing and there were horses at the top. It was really cold, so again with the hot cocoa and this time we had pastries. All the boys crowded themselves into the van to eat. Gordy was the first out and ready, waiting. And waiting, and waiting. I finally got out my crowbar and pried them out of the van. In Jason's case it really was a pry out sort of thing since I'm 5' 3” and he's not, but was to cold to adjust the seat and just forced his legs under the steering wheel, and wedged himself into the driver's seat. It was a sweet picture with all of them in there with their helmets on, crammed shoulder to shoulder. They looked a little like they were special needs. Then they were off to the famous “Col deTormalet”. In my vote that is a brutal climb. Its much like climbing little cottonwood canyon from the botttom of the canyon, clear to the top of the Tram at Snowbird. But no one asked me so I got in Gargantua and headed up the mountain. Just past the resort I pulled off to get a very nice picture of them riding by the jagged mountains when I acquired a stray burro. He hung out next to me and we watched riders go by for about a half hour or so. I got my pictures, shared an apple with the burro then headed off to the top for amazing photos and a view that took my breath away, quite literally because it was so freakin' cold. All the boys rode in, smiling. It was an amazing day.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/382389
Millage: 60 miles
Elevation Climb: About 11000 ft

Foix - Bagners

Day 5

Today was great, the cities we rode/drove through were so quaint. Who new you could purchase Pizza, Pain, and Pastries at the same place?!

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/384192
Millage: 80 miles
Elevation Climb: About 5000 ft

Puigcerda to Foix - Hill or Hell, it is in the eye of the beholder

Day 4

I believe there are people in this world who are confused about the word “vacation”. I am with 5 such people. There are these climbs called “cols” that these boys are so excited to experience. The ranking system is as follows: Cat. 4 = rolling hills, a pleasant day out for a ride. Cat. 3=ouch that's putting some burn in my legs.
Cat. 2 = Ah hell, my legs just seized up. Cat.1 = so steep and painful to ride I'd rather be at the ballet. Then there is the Colls that are ranked HC. These are so steep they aren't rated. I have no idea what HC stands for, however if I were to wager a guess it would be the French equivalent of “Holy #@%*” which is equal to “well boys, get out your climbing harness, we are going straight up!” That is what they rode today. The first was a Cat. 3 called Col de Quillane. The second climb was HAIRY. It was a Cat. HC named Col de Pailheres. I'll say it was beautiful, I drove. I wasn't in pain. I leisurely got out and took photos. Suffice it to say, I can't believe no one threw-up at the top. I wondered if my van was going to. Not only did the boys not throw up, they seemed happy and I kid you not, ready for more. Well ladies, you may rest easy knowing your warriors in spandex did you proud. The crazy freaks.

There were some consequences to this ambitious day. After dinner Jason couldn't get his hamstrings straight for a few minutes. He walked like an arthritic old man. I thought both Clark and Gordy would beg off and sleep on the floor rather than climb the second flight of stairs to their room. Greg and Evan looked perky enough, however both were having amnesia brought on by fatigue. Greg lost the keys to the car, and felt that was “distressing”, He never remembered going back to his room where he'd left them. Evan just took on the look of a very confused person, startling when addressed. I'm sure tomorrow they will be perky as pie.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/692397
Millage: 82 miles
Elevation Climb: About 10000 ft

Olot to Puigcerda - A perfect day

Day 3

Today passed in a blur of sweat and spandex. Gordy's bike, (La Bruja) was not appeased. He said he talked nice to it, however she blew a tire and then later rear ended Greg, who rear ended Evan (who apparently needs brake lights), throwing her wheel off balance. (Supposedly there was a misuse of hand signals, but my theory is that it's the bike.) I don't throw around the word “witch” lightly, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, must be a duck. That is one cantankerous bicycle. Gordy seems fond of it though, because when I offered to rent him a burro (there were several for rent around the corner) he turned me down. I thought he'd look spiffy in his kit with his helmet galloping alongside the other guys.

The boys did 3 climbs today: Col de Coublet (Cat.2), Col de Cannes (Cat. 3), and Collada de Toses (Cat.1). It was kinda like Goldilocks and the three bears, one was baby big, one was medium big and one was big and looong. It threatened rain, then did, then cleared and made for an amazingly beautiful day. All parties involved ended happy and pleasantly tired.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/384205
Millage: 64 miles
Elevation Climb: About 5000 ft

Coast to Olot - la bruja (the witch)

When the guys were planning this trip there was a debate as to whether they should ship their bikes or rent. All but one guy wavered on what to do, Greg never did. Apparently Gordy's bike got wind of this and has been mad ever since. So there is this little bolt that clamps the seat post and keeps it in place, guess it is really important, Gordy's was missing. He improvised. It kept slipping. Gordy would go from riding normal to pedaling with his knees hitting his chest. The first three times he calmly got off and added electrical tape to the seat post, cranked on the improvised bolt and set off again, optimistic this would work. By time four we added duct tape. then we bought a bigger screwdriver to tighten said bolt tighter (because bigger is always better). Still slipping. Twenty miles from home, a beaten but ever calm and controlled Gordy, super glued his seat in place. Now if the bike had been from Walmart this wouldn't seem to be such a big deal, but all who know how nice a bike this is shed a collective tear at this insult. The bike obviously saw this as an insult as well because although the seat held, the wheel bearings promptly started to squeal. Hence the name La Bruja.

Greg and Evan are fairly adventurous eaters and both ordered fearlessly from the menu at the little resturaunt we went to. They debated for a moment obout the spelling of "Cobb" salad vs. "Cod" salad they agreed that it was probably "Cobb" salad. It wasn't. Greg's salad was shredded Cod. It was raw. It wouldn't stay on his fork. We aren't sure what Evan ordered, it was purple meat. He was skeptical. Jason tried it. He voted no. We shared our meals with them and the Senorita was so dissapointed that Greg didn't like his salad. To his credit, he had three healthy thank you bites before he gave up.

Route: http://www.bikemap.net/route/384208
Millage: 60 miles
Elevation Climb: About 4000 ft

Three doctors a student and a cabinet maker

Day 1

I believe there is a family that for generations has been creating torture devices. From the dawn of man there has always been somebody who created something to make another human uncomfortable. I believe this family is completely insane and a little angry. This family is the only explanation I can come up with for the design of an airport, airplane experience. It is not user friendly for a 5'3" individual, how is it then that someone really thought that men who are 5'10' and above (much above) are going to be comfortable in a chair that barely fits my nine year old. I think that these creaters of angst and mayhem are very short and have small mans disease. after 15 hours and 32 hellish red-eye minutes we finally land in Barcelona to await customs. the line for customs is so long that we have time to make lifelong friends and now our Christmas card list is 3 families longer. When we finally get to the customs agent, Greg goes through no problem, Evan goes through no problem, then it is Jason's turn. Aparently the day he had his passport picture taken he didn't have a head, and since then he has grown one. This was very disconcerting to the agent, and it took Jason removing his hat and giving a very convincing,benign, unterroristic smile before the agent finally agreed to let him in the country. Then we were off to retrieve Gigantica our gorgeous, humoungous van. Upon loading everyone in, I gave Greg the keys and he drove us out of the airport and to Tossa. Upon arriving at Tossa we struggled to find our Hotel because the GPS insisted that we drive down this street which I would deem barely an alley that was teeming with people, and no other cars in sight. Greg tried two different directions then went for it. Women were hauling their children up against the walls, waiters were moving tables and menu pedistools out of his way. People were giving loud and insistant "directive help" to us, until we finally came out onto the street (I really think he was driving on the equivalant of our sidewalks). Then we found the hotel. Thirty six hours later, the boys are still cheerful and excited to be in Spain as we eat dinner and head to bed for an early start the next morning.